There are times in everyone’s professional career that leave you with shattered self-confidence, and the empty feeling that you don’t know what you’re doing. This could come after an idea pitch that wasn’t successful, making a mistake in some data analysis or working for a narcissist. The last scenario is where I was at in my last role, and it took me a good few months to build back up to believing in myself as a decent engineer again.
I thought this would be a good topic to write about, as it’s something that you could apply to all sorts of areas of your life, even if your particular loss of confidence isn’t in your career. It’s crazy the hold that a situation like this can have over you – your brain can really be your enemy and it can be hard to realise you’re self-sabotaging.
1) Trawl back through your social media profiles (especially LinkedIn)
Probably my favourite piece of advice that I will give you, is the thing that had the most impact on me personally. When I was looking into making the jump from being a motorcycle race technician to being a crew chief/race engineer, I would search for role models who I could follow. I would research their path to where they got to (good old LinkedIn!), see the courses they did, places they worked etc. So I would have a signpost to what I could do to try and replicate their journey to get to a similar end position.
When I was struggling, I decided to go back through my own LinkedIn profile, and remind myself of all of my professional achievements. It sounds daft and a small thing to do, but it really helped to remind me of what I’d achieved and that I actually was a good engineer! Until I recently recorded the “With Her Two Hands” podcast with Bogi (watch my podcast here), I hadn’t connected that I researched myself like I had those who had inspired me years earlier, in order to re-inspire myself. Sometimes it does you good to take a step back, remind yourself of where you’ve been and what you’ve achieved. The funk you find yourself in is only temporary, and doesn’t reflect on your whole career.
2) Reach out to ex-colleagues or managers for a recommendation
This is another LinkedIn based recommendation, but this would be just as effective if you reached out to your colleagues or managers directly. One great way to regain your self-confidence is to speak with those who you’ve worked alongside and for over the years. Asking for people to leave you a recommendation on LinkedIn is a really nice way of achieving this. You have a double benefit of being able to read what nice things people have to say about you, but also it helps to boost your LinkedIn profile with these references on there! You can also return the favour by leaving them a recommendation, which means everyone benefits.
If you don’t use LinkedIn but have a good relationship with these people, just reach out to them for a chat. If you explain what’s going on and that you’re trying to re-build your confidence, I am sure they will be happy to help you. This really helps to remind yourself of the great working relationship you had with these guys, and emphasises that one mistake or strange chapter doesn’t define who you are.
This isn’t something that I did, but I was approached by an ex-colleague who asked me to do this for me. They were also struggling with the fallout from the awful boss we worked for, and they were looking to move jobs but also try and boost their self-confidence. I thought it was a really good idea, and something that I would do if I ever found myself in that situation again in my career.
3) Push yourself to do something that challenges you
The best way to remind yourself of your knowledge and skills is to dive headfirst into a challenge! Why don’t you sign up for a free Open Learn course in something you’ve wanted to learn for a while? Or really push yourself and sign up to deliver a TED-X speech? If the thought of that terrifies you, you could always write your “speech” on a topic close to your heart, with no intention of ever actually speaking. You might surprise yourself and find that you’d actually like to deliver it once you’ve written it!
By pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, it will make you positively reflect on where you have come from, and the huge potential for where you can go. If you could be brave and do some public speaking, you will find the positive feedback that you get from people will hugely benefit your self-confidence!
This is something that I have found especially effective, and actually when I was asked to deliver the Triumph Design Awards keynote speech I was really struggling. Being asked to do something as prestigious as that really boosted my self-confidence, and made me realise that my achievements weren’t reduced just because I was struggling with the role I was in.
4) Be open with your current manager
Providing they aren’t the issue, having an open conversation with your manager is a really powerful way to help rebuild your self-confidence. If you speak with them and explain what and how it is affecting you, they will be able to support you and know exactly what’s going on. This should give them a prompt to be a bit more forthcoming with praise, which can be rare in engineering companies! They will probably be surprised and question what you’re worrying for, which should be a huge confidence bump as these are the people you’re currently working for/with. Their opinions mean a lot more than something else that’s been lingering in your brain.
5) Do some extra reading
Take some time to do some more reading around your expertise, current job role or overall industry. You’ll find making pro-active steps to increase your knowledge will automatically help your self-confidence. You might find you already know a lot you’re reading, or are happily taking it all in because you have that base knowledge that your brain is trying to tell you that you’ve lost. A motivational self-help book like something by Tony Robbins for example, would be another good way of doing this. Re-inspire yourself and get your mojo back!
6) Take some time off
Sometimes, the best thing to do is to just get away from it all for a few days! Get yourself away from home, even if you just take a simple camping trip a few miles away, the change of scenery will do you the world of good. It’s important that you just do something that you absolutely love doing, to re-engage your brain and make it think about something else! Sometimes a bit of context helps the most, realising that this feeling is temporary and there are so many things out there that set your soul on fire.
Hopefully some of these tips will be useful, and they might be good things to do even if you aren’t feeling like you’ve lost your self-confidence in your professional ability. Remember, you are never defined by one moment, one job or one mistake (unless it’s a real clanger!!).
Do you have any tips to help in these situations? I would love to hear if you have some great methods that I can add to my toolbox!
Emilie
The Female Engineer
